My Practically Perfect Life

I’m sure the phrase “throwing shade” has been used around you before. It’s not a common one that I use, or the people I hang out with. I mean, we are adults. I get the concept and that it might be easier to say that instead of actually explaining what you mean. But it’s a silly phrase to me. Yet it was recently used towards me.

Just a little note here, this isn’t supposed to be a petty comeback or insult to the person who said it to me. I’m not being spiteful, I am just expressing my thoughts and feelings.

So anyway, there I was minding my own business when out of the blue…! Just kidding. Kind of. You see it’s interesting to me to be removed from a persons life, yet still be around and able to see the goings on of said person. To be related, or have the same friend circle or to work with them. Whatever the case may be. As I’ve noticed in my 37 years on this earth, the more you are away from someone and looking at things from a different perspective, the more imperfections and issues you see. It’s easy to overlook these things when you are close to the person or love them. In any capacity. And that’s a good thing. Man I couldn’t imagine how few people would want to be around me if they couldn’t overlook my mistakes and faults. It’s reassuring actually to know that something like that is not only something you are capable of doing but something you choose to do. It’s like shining a light, a spot light on someone, and with that glowing light you can’t see the negative.

So maybe when you stop shining a light on someone you are quite literally (not literally but I will be using the shit out of that word now) throwing shade. I know my accusations of throwing shade aren’t true in the sense that I was avoiding or talking negatively about the accuser. But if I stop and look at it from the point of view of being pushed away and seeing what isn’t so shiny anymore, then I guess I could see it. Even though I know that wasn’t thought out by said person.

So because I am going through this right now, I am going to analyze the shit out of it. It’s what I do!! If I take a look at what’s going on in my life there have been some changes in the past couple of years. I have had a lot of self growth and made good changes to myself that I have needed to make. I have gotten to a whole new level in my marriage that I am so thankful for and I know that has changed my way of assessing problems and communicating. Not just with my husband but in every day life. My boys have gone through some crazy things, life changing things and I have watched them suffer and yet grow at the same time. Not just physically because who am I kidding? My 14 year old is 6’3″ now and wears a size 15 shoe. I’ve watched him grow for sure!! I have started a new career that I absolutely love and I kind of think I’m killing it! I have lost some weight and have become very proud of myself for all of the accomplishments I have done. I have made new friends, amazing friends that I honestly can’t believe weren’t in my life for years and years. I have buried people that I loved dearly, watched new families being formed, stood by helplessly when I couldn’t fix a terrible issue for someone I love more than anything. I have prayed more and appreciated what I have instead wishing I had more. I have shone. I made it a point to not have any shade on me. To see my imperfections as stepping stones to a better me. I have learned to love myself more which gives me the ability to love others more as well. And it’s been the most challenging but rewarding couple years of my life.

So I will continue to shine, for myself as well as others. And I will always make sure to shine light on those around me. It’s the only way to get thorough life. So show up, shut up and shine!

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King Jr.