My Practically Perfect Life

How many times have you read a story about someone who “made” themselves”? They started out in a terrible place and decided to wake up and make changes and now they are millionaires or celebrities. How many times have you heard that story and said to yourself “that’s great for them but it’ll never happen to me” or “shut the hell up and let me be content in my own mediocre life”? I know I’ve said those things. Either because I didn’t believe I could change my own life or I was jealous that something better worked out for someone else. It’s the same with people who lose a lot of weight when you’re holding a cold beer in one hand and a taco in another saying they just have good genes or better metabolism. People that change their lives or make something of themselves don’t have a trick. There is no lucky rabbit foot they have stowed away that you can’t see. What they have is determination. And that’s not the easiest thing to acquire. Definitely easier to get your hands on cold beer and tacos!

First, I love tacos and beer! Just thought I would throw that out there! But this isn’t about what I’ll probably have for dinner…but rather about sitting in the same spot in life, not seeing anything ahead but the same thing that happens every day. Now don’t get me wrong, my life has always been great! My family, my kids, my friends have always been great. I’ve never been homeless or had a life threatening disease. So when I start with my “bottom” it was still better than a lot of people’s best. I’m not comparing, just telling my story.

My bottom of life was not when I was beat physically, or so broke that I had to buy milk for my kids with quarters I scrounged up. It wasn’t when I was upside down (literally) in my truck that I wrecked or when I was on my knees praying that my marriage wasn’t ending. My bottom was when I convinced myself that I could not do better. That the life I was living was as good as it was going to get. That I was meant for an ordinary, unexceptional life. I was fine with it. You know “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit”. Why challenge what I believed to be as good as it was going to get?

I don’t know the exact moment that I realized that was bull shit. It wasn’t an epiphany, not from a song or a book. Not from a seminar or even a dream I had. But when you have a realization like this…that your life could and should be better, well…you get off your ass and make changes.

I know a lot of people look at my life and say I’m lucky. That I married well and now I can live the life of leisure. That things just fall into my lap. I can agree with these things. I did marry well. I married a man who has worked his ass off to be in the position he is in, making what he does and having the time off that comes with the job. But I don’t sit here sipping champagne for breakfast wearing a silk robe and slippers that Blanche Devereaux would have worn! I do love the freedom that comes with my husbands job, because although he is gone a lot, when he is home we have the time and ability to live exceptional lives. That takes a lot of work, from us both. So…not luck, but work.

Hard work and determination is what has gotten me to the place I am today. Hard work is…crap. Just crap. I mean do it, but you don’t have to love it. It’s ok to cuss as you wipe the sweat out of your eyes or tears from your face because of how exhausted and frustrated you are. The phrase “blood, sweat and tears” is not just a phrase. But what actually takes place when you do something worth doing.

I’m going to tell you what the hardest part of creating the life you want is. Figuring out what the hell you actually want. I can’t tell you how many times I have sat down and written down the way I would love for my life to be in a year or 5 years. The tricky part to doing that is that as you grow older and change, and accomplish different things in life, your goals will change as well. 10 years ago I wanted to feel safe in my own home, give my kids a wonderful life (that’s an open ended goal if I ever saw one) and feel more secure about myself physically. 5 years ago I wanted to be happy in my own skin, to be the perfect wife and mother. To be a great hostess and to be in better shape. Those are all goals that I will continue to strive for, because how do you put an end date on something like that?

The key to getting what you want in life is not to stop when you accomplish something on your list. But to keep adding things and striving for more every day. I can tell you that 10 years ago I never thought a goal of mine would be to travel the world. Yet here I am seeing new places and cultures and different countries as often as I can! And I absolutely love it! And in a few years my goals may change again. But with the determination I have now, I will do whatever it takes to make my dreams come true. Because unlike what Cinderella told us growing up, it takes more than just believing to make a dream come true.