My Practically Perfect Life

I don’t believe there is anyone in the world that cannot think of at least a few times when they knew they didn’t want to give up on something, but they did. They had to. I hate giving up. I feel like a failure when I cannot finish what I started. Whether it is a project, an assignment, or a game of solitaire! I hate giving up. But there have been many times in my life when I had to. For my safety or my sanity. But not all situations of having to give up are the same. I have had to give up a marriage, because it was terminal. There was no way that it would have gotten better. For my safety and the safety of my children I gave that up. And that was the smartest thing I have ever done. I have given up friendships that I knew were not beneficial to myself. It took me a long time to realize that friendship, like any other relationship is a two way street. And I couldn’t be the only one driving. When these things were given up there was almost an instant sigh of relief. I could physically feel the difference in my body from giving the stress away that these people or relationships were causing.

Recently there was a situation in my life. Not just a situation, but a life changing event that I work on daily to get through. I was told to give up. Yelled and scorned. I was told that there was no reason to fight for what I wanted. No reason to continue trying. But I would not give up. I fought, every day. I fought with the situation, I fought with myself. I fought the feelings that were crippling me inside. As I have stated before…I hate to give up. But because life hasn’t been all sprinkles and rainbows, I have learned the difference in when I need to quit and when to continue to fight. As for this situation, I truly didn’t know what to do. I knew what I wanted but the end result of that seemed so far away. If felt completely out of my grasp.

So I prayed. I say I prayed but really I begged. I begged God not to change the situation but to give me the right things to say to change it. I asked God to show me the direction He wanted me to go. I asked for signs. I asked and prayed for everything I thought would fix the situation. And then…it got worse. The pain I was dealing with inside was hindering my ability to continue fighting for what I believed was right. So, one night, I sat on the side of my bed and I calmly and without fear, anxiety or tears, gave up. I gave up quietly, to God. It took me a long time to realize that I was not in charge of the outcome. I finally opened my eyes and knew that God knew the final call before this even began. I knew that His will was to be done. So I gave up, I gave my problems to God.

Now I’m not one to sit and preach to people. I will share my faith with the world. This isn’t just about Christianity. It is about stopping what is happening within yourself and letting the higher power do His job. Because until you come to that realization then you cannot fully accept what will happen in your life.

So, as I said. I sat down and gave up. I told God that he was in charge and whatever happened I would accept. And I am not making this up when I tell you, but not 2 minutes after I prayed, my phone rang. The call changed my life. It changed the situation I was in and made my life exactly where I wanted it to be. I’m not saying that phone call would not have happened if I hadn’t prayed the way I did, if I hadn’t decided to stop fighting and let what was set in motion to happen actually just happen. But I believe in faith and fate more than I do a coincidence. And I believe, without a doubt, that God answered my prayers because I finally let Him do what He was wanting to do all along.

This thing that happened in my life, it doesn’t define me. it doesn’t make me less of a person nor does it make me better than before. But what it did do is open my eyes. Not just to the fact that I wasn’t letting God control my life, but that I was making a lot of wrong decisions as well. Having everything almost taken from you is a huge eye opener. It’ll drop you down a few rungs on your pride ladder. But sometimes that needs to happen. And in those instances, you need to step back and ask yourself, if you need to fight, or if you need to give up.

Giving up is not simply quitting, it is choosing to focus your attention on something more important. Giving up is not losing confidence, it is realizing that there are more valuable ways you can spend your time. Giving up is not making excuses, it is learning to be more productive, efficient and effective instead. Giving up is hard, but sometimes it is exactly what you need to do.