My Practically Perfect Life

I have been an oil field wife to two different men. So for 16 years I have been in the oil field life. There are a lot of misconceptions to the oil field. Many people disagree with what my husband does for a living. There are many groups of people out there that will argue or fight when the subject is brought up. I’m here to tell you there is an even bigger group of people that will stand and defend it. I will not be getting into any of that. Your opinions are yours as mine are mine. And we will leave it at that.

This however is me telling a little about being the wife of an oil field man. This is not an easy job. Yes, job. I may not be out in the field working or bringing in a pay check but I sure as hell am working a full time job while my husband is gone. He is gone for days, weeks or even months at a time, working his butt off. And he does that to provide for our kids and myself. He works hard so we can live a beautiful life. But being the wife of a man that is gone for long periods of time isn’t easy. It is being a single mom. The mom, the dad, the chauffeur, the maid and the chef. My resume would also include lawn worker, ranch hand, mechanic, plumber and contractor. I’m not simply bragging about my ability to do these things, well…maybe I am a little! But I am actually proud that I am able to do these things. I not only am able to save us money because we don’t have to hire someone for small jobs, but I am saving my husband from the stress of having to deal with them when he gets home. My goal is for my husband to come home and be able to relax and enjoy time with his family.

As I lay in bed, recovering from gallbladder surgery, in an empty house, I am reminded just exactly what being an oil field wife is. This. Actually laying in bed recovering from surgery with nobody here to take care of me. Now don’t get me wrong, my husband wanted to come home to take care of me, and I told him to stay at work. I mean, someone has to pay for the surgery right! My point is that big things happen in life, unexpected as well as things you know are coming. And as an oil field wife you have to be prepared to tackle them alone. Holidays are the worst. In the past 8 years I would be able to name the holidays my husband was home for quicker than the ones he missed. One thing you learn when you live this life, is a holiday is about the season, the time spent with your family. Not necessarily the exact day. We can celebrate Christmas on January 5th and it be just as great as the 25th of December, if that means my boys get to spend it with their dad. 

My husband grew up with his father in the oil field. And obviously my boys are doing the same. Just because I know what it’s like to be married into it, doesn’t mean I know what it’s like to grow up in it. But I think the boys are handling it well. They do understand his schedule, or lack thereof. They may not like it, but they don’t complain. They know how hard their dad works to give them the amazing life they have. They appreciate his hard work and they help me out at the house so much. I know they, just like myself, would rather have the time with him, but we are doing our part. For years now the boys have been able to do their own laundry, dishes, clean anything (although they don’t love it) and really anything else that most young kids don’t know how to do. This is in part so they can help me out, but also my way of making sure they will be able to take care of themselves when they don’t live here anymore.    

I’ve been asked multiple times, is it worth being away from my husband just for a better paycheck. Well, 2 answers to that. One, yes, it is worth it to know that my husband is working with a huge group of other people that are busting their ass to give us all a good standard of living. I think some people look at the negatives of the job and don’t stop to think that without these people working in this field we wouldn’t have fuel, electricity, or plastics, just to name a few. And second, have you ever heard the phrase “work hard, play hard”? Well, we do! Now we aren’t stupid with money, but we are sure to live a great life. We are able to enjoy the things we love, because of the sacrifices we make. We drive the vehicles we want, we live in the beautiful home that we love, we travel when we can and we don’t buy generic green beans! 

The sacrifice isn’t just made by my husband, it is made by myself, our children, our friends and our family. They have to miss out on time with my husband as well. But as they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. So we know that when we have time together it will be amazing. We make sure it is. It is worth the texts throughout the day, the phone calls when he gets a chance to step away. Facetime just to be able to look into each other’s eyes, knowing how much we would give to be next to each other instead. The sacrifices we make now will be worth it in the long run. 

So if you don’t know what it’s like to live this life, don’t judge it. If you know someone that does, try to be understanding. And if you don’t like it, then simply keep your opinion to yourself! But for those of you that know, or are stressing out or lonely. Don’t give up. Because our sacrifices today will mean we leave a better life for our children. And isn’t that what life is all about?

“He who would accomplish little must sacrifice little; he who would achieve much must sacrifice much; he who would attain highly must sacrifice greatly.” – James Allen